Tarmilnuldan Yarpdoggid Cubtabhug is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, calm raccoon.

Tarmilnuldan Yarpdoggid Cubtabhug created the Milkyway nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarmilnuldan Yarpdoggid Cubtabhug, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tarmilnuldan Yarpdoggid Cubtabhug, she will not care at all.

Tarmilnuldan Yarpdoggid Cubtabhug's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Tarmilnuldan Yarpdoggid Cubtabhug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Hide from brown shrews for they are unholy.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.