Disstomyog Damartvog is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, effective salamander.

Disstomyog Damartvog created the planet Saturn five million years ago.

If you believe in Disstomyog Damartvog, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Disstomyog Damartvog, it will not invite you to parties.

Disstomyog Damartvog's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Disstomyog Damartvog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four badgers in a large pit.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Disstomyog Damartvog on top of all buildings.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.