Kimkemkomtin is a god.
It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, compassionate
skunk.
Kimkemkomtin created humanity nine billion years ago.
If you believe in
Kimkemkomtin, it will ignore you forever.
If you do not believe in
Kimkemkomtin, it will turn you into a small brown duck.
Kimkemkomtin's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.
Kimkemkomtin's Holy Commandments1. Your children must be taught to worship Kimkemkomtin.
2. Never jump in the presence of pigs.
3. Do not speak about pineapples.
4. Never wear coats.
5. Do not keep six dogs in a large pit.