Orttabbog is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, grumpy hamster.

Orttabbog created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Orttabbog, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Orttabbog, it will ignore you.

Orttabbog's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Orttabbog's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Orttabbog on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about tortoises.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Worship no other gods but Orttabbog.