Nelpigham is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, wise dragonfly.

Nelpigham created the Sombrero Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelpigham, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nelpigham, she will throw large rocks at you.

Nelpigham's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Nelpigham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Nelpigham's name in vain.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near shrews while wearing purple jumpers.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never think about electromagnetism.