Teencanrak is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, caring gnu.

Teencanrak created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teencanrak, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Teencanrak, he will laugh at you.

Teencanrak's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Teencanrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear rings marked with turquoise.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Teencanrak on top of all buildings.

4. Never hop in the presence of elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.