Cabsakgem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, cheerful wren.

Cabsakgem created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabsakgem, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cabsakgem, she will turn you into a mole.

Cabsakgem's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Cabsakgem's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Cabsakgem in the centre of the settlement.

2. Cabsakgem must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never feed lots of oranges to great tits while wearing indigo scarves.

5. Never talk about stars.