Dotbenhotpak is a god.

It takes the form of a large, uncaring chinchilla.

Dotbenhotpak created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotbenhotpak, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dotbenhotpak, it will turn you into a slug.

Dotbenhotpak's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Dotbenhotpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

3. Hide if six sheep approach from the north.

4. Never adorn your hands with magenta markings.

5. Never pour water over plants.