Gessflatfad is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, cheerful mink.

Gessflatfad created dark matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessflatfad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gessflatfad, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gessflatfad's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Gessflatfad's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Gessflatfad eight times a day.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Erect three aluminium sculptures of Gessflatfad on top of important buildings.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Gessflatfad loves foxes, so they must be honoured.