Tadgamhig is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, deceitful penguin.

Tadgamhig created the Sombrero Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tadgamhig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tadgamhig, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tadgamhig's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Tadgamhig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick whales.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never feed melons to monkeys while wearing orange ear rings.