Dogponnutt is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, self-confident dingo.

Dogponnutt created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dogponnutt, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dogponnutt, he will remove you from existence.

Dogponnutt's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Dogponnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Dogponnutt.

3. Never mention sharks.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Dogponnutt in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never feed rice to shrews while wearing white scarves.