Bonksafhan is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, fast porpoise.

Bonksafhan created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonksafhan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bonksafhan, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Bonksafhan's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bonksafhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never play with disobedient children.