Tarpsakquat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, irritating chicken.

Tarpsakquat created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpsakquat, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tarpsakquat, it will turn you into a mouse.

Tarpsakquat's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Tarpsakquat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five platinum sculptures of Tarpsakquat on top of important buildings.

2. Do not take Tarpsakquat's name in vain.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never point your feet toward the west during prayer.

5. Do not wear black clothing.