Flapdibpom is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, vain lobster.

Flapdibpom created the world eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapdibpom, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flapdibpom, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Flapdibpom's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Flapdibpom's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

3. Always act with purity.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.