Lamlibnatbem is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, strong lobster.

Lamlibnatbem created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lamlibnatbem, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lamlibnatbem, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Lamlibnatbem's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Lamlibnatbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bread to manatees while wearing ear rings.

2. You must pray to Lamlibnatbem five times a day.

3. Never write about eukaryotes.

4. Do not kill dogs.

5. Never hurt monkeys.