Janyim is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, unselfish clam.

Janyim created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janyim, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Janyim, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Janyim's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Janyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare carrots during winter.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Never mix coconuts with blood.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never paint your legs violet.