Nartarnbif Gabvadlig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, thoughtless deer.

Nartarnbif Gabvadlig created an atom three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartarnbif Gabvadlig, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nartarnbif Gabvadlig, he will be mildly annoyed.

Nartarnbif Gabvadlig's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Nartarnbif Gabvadlig's Holy Commandments

1. Nartarnbif Gabvadlig must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never think about dark energy near great tits while wearing fawn boots and balancing five gold spheres on your back.