Metfub is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, idiotic gorilla.

Metfub created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Metfub, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Metfub, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Metfub's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Metfub's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not speak about aubergines.

5. Never hurt frogs.