Tanbaphan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciful ferret.

Tanbaphan created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tanbaphan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tanbaphan, he will turn you into a frog.

Tanbaphan's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Tanbaphan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Do not keep eight sheep in a large pit.

3. Never paint your arms magenta.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.