Sugtenzen is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, compassionate hippopotamus.

Sugtenzen created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Sugtenzen, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sugtenzen, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Sugtenzen's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Sugtenzen's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not kill dolphins.

5. Do not dye your hair white.