Tapfotvol Zagbemsag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, blissful shark.

Tapfotvol Zagbemsag created an electron four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tapfotvol Zagbemsag, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tapfotvol Zagbemsag, it will not care at all.

Tapfotvol Zagbemsag's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Tapfotvol Zagbemsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather nine bats in one place.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not turn your chest toward north.

5. Always count to eight before sleeping.