Wigpakkik is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, annoying cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Wigpakkik created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Wigpakkik, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Wigpakkik, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Wigpakkik's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Wigpakkik's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not eat lemons.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Run away if eight hamsters approach from the east.