Tonkbanzak is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish lobster.

Tonkbanzak created the Sunflower Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkbanzak, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tonkbanzak, it will turn you into a rock.

Tonkbanzak's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Tonkbanzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear cyan shorts on sacred days.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near foxes while wearing gray stockings.

4. Always look after injured doves.

5. Do not prepare lentils while wearing shoes.