Dudfed Jinarpdan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring grasshopper.

Dudfed Jinarpdan created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dudfed Jinarpdan, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dudfed Jinarpdan, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Dudfed Jinarpdan's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Dudfed Jinarpdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear tights.

2. Never mix wheat with water.

3. Never feed lots of beans to hamsters while wearing pink ear rings.

4. Do not wear skirts marked with black.

5. Always act with purity.