Flowgedfemcim is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unfair snake.

Flowgedfemcim created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flowgedfemcim, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flowgedfemcim, he will try to impress you with trees.

Flowgedfemcim's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Flowgedfemcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eagles.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never go into white rooms.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.