Gofkopcapfunominhon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, merciless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gofkopcapfunominhon created everything that exists eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gofkopcapfunominhon, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gofkopcapfunominhon, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gofkopcapfunominhon's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Gofkopcapfunominhon's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gofkopcapfunominhon.

2. You must pray to Gofkopcapfunominhon four times a day.

3. Do not eat spinach.

4. Gofkopcapfunominhon must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.