Quartgatpad is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, benevolent clam.

Quartgatpad created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartgatpad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Quartgatpad, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Quartgatpad's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Quartgatpad's Holy Commandments

1. Remain bowed during prayer.

2. Never look at dwarf planets.

3. Never approach rivers carrying wood.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never pray while filled with pride.