Jatwatvog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, confident wyrm.

Jatwatvog created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatwatvog, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jatwatvog, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Jatwatvog's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Jatwatvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Jatwatvog on top of important buildings.

4. Never think about stars.

5. You must pray to Jatwatvog four times a day.