Yarllogbag is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, grumpy eagle.

Yarllogbag created the Andromeda Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarllogbag, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarllogbag, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Yarllogbag's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Yarllogbag's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always wear turquoise.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics near aardvarks while wearing white shirts and balancing five iron spheres on your hands.