Metrawvan is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, boastful giraffe.

Metrawvan created parasitic wasps three million years ago.

If you believe in Metrawvan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Metrawvan, he will throw large rocks at you.

Metrawvan's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Metrawvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Metrawvan's priests.

2. Always remove rings before touching carbon.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

4. You must pray to Metrawvan three times a day.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.