Futflisort is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, awe-inspiring squid.

Futflisort created the Sun four years ago.

If you believe in Futflisort, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Futflisort, she will be very sad.

Futflisort's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Futflisort's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black gulls, for they are unholy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Futflisort.

3. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

5. Do not speak about oranges.