Cunkonlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, all-knowing armadillo.

Cunkonlarp created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Cunkonlarp, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cunkonlarp, she will be very unhappy.

Cunkonlarp's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Cunkonlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Run away if five foxes approach from the east.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cunkonlarp.

5. Always pray immersed in water.