Fethubmap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, sapient walrus.

Fethubmap created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fethubmap, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fethubmap, she will throw large rocks at you.

Fethubmap's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Fethubmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never talk about tapirs.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Do not chop down trees.