Bedjarnkab is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciless grasshopper.

Bedjarnkab created the Sol system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bedjarnkab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bedjarnkab, he will turn you into a sheep.

Bedjarnkab's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Bedjarnkab's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Remain standing during prayer.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never write about special relativity.

5. Bedjarnkab loves seals, so they must be honoured.