Yatsastof is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, thoughtless chinchilla.

Yatsastof created everything that exists eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yatsastof, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yatsastof, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yatsastof's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Yatsastof's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about tortoises.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Never talk about optics near porpoises while wearing yellow shirts.

5. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Yatsastof in the centre of the settlement.