Gilnigkon is a god.

She takes the form of a large, blissful narwhal.

Gilnigkon created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilnigkon, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gilnigkon, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gilnigkon's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Gilnigkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back red.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never jump in the presence of manatees.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not cook food in pots.