Catsitbintarzan Zigjipbog is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, ill-tempered gnu.

Catsitbintarzan Zigjipbog created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Catsitbintarzan Zigjipbog, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Catsitbintarzan Zigjipbog, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Catsitbintarzan Zigjipbog's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Catsitbintarzan Zigjipbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

2. Always cleanse water with water.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not wear boots marked with indigo.

5. Never think about spacetime near mites while wearing magenta dresses and balancing six iron spheres on your arms.