Cen Tofsogstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, cheerful guinea pig.

Cen Tofsogstaf created an atom five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cen Tofsogstaf, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cen Tofsogstaf, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cen Tofsogstaf's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Cen Tofsogstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine tapirs approach from the east.

2. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

3. Put Cen Tofsogstaf first in all things.

4. Do not keep seven dolphins in a large pit.

5. Respect your elders.