Tettihinvidnarlfot is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, wise crocodile.

Tettihinvidnarlfot created energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettihinvidnarlfot, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tettihinvidnarlfot, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Tettihinvidnarlfot's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Tettihinvidnarlfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Run away from fawn dolphins, for they are unholy.