Sandlabnut is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, witty mouse.

Sandlabnut created the Andromeda Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandlabnut, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sandlabnut, it will destroy your favourite star.

Sandlabnut's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Sandlabnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about bacteria.

2. Never feed corn to monkeys while wearing orange kilts.

3. Always cleanse ash with water.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never chant while facing east.