Futnanbafpit Parksaffag Limvoldin is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, ill-tempered parrot.

Futnanbafpit Parksaffag Limvoldin created gold five million years ago.

If you believe in Futnanbafpit Parksaffag Limvoldin, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Futnanbafpit Parksaffag Limvoldin, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Futnanbafpit Parksaffag Limvoldin's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Futnanbafpit Parksaffag Limvoldin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Futnanbafpit Parksaffag Limvoldin on top of all buildings.

2. Never wear black trousers.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never look in ponds.