Dissfarnvil is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, self-assured weasel.

Dissfarnvil created water four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissfarnvil, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dissfarnvil, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dissfarnvil's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Dissfarnvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Feed all hungry sharks.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.