Gablunrig is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, all-powerful armadillo.

Gablunrig created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gablunrig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gablunrig, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gablunrig's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gablunrig's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in shadows.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Gablunrig on top of all buildings.

3. Never feed wheat to capybaras while wearing blue boots.

4. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.