Mobpanxen is a god.

It takes the form of a large, tranquil walrus.

Mobpanxen created carbon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mobpanxen, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mobpanxen, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Mobpanxen's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Mobpanxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick whales.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Run away if nine snakes approach from the west.

5. Always help foxes in need.