Shavquillshav is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, intelligent gorilla.

Shavquillshav created the Black Eye Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavquillshav, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Shavquillshav, it will turn you into a mouse.

Shavquillshav's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Shavquillshav's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise porpoises for they are unholy.

2. Always help manatees.

3. Never wear green shirts.

4. Retreat if eight tapirs approach from the south.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.