Flannellbig is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, contented wren.

Flannellbig created the Sunflower Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Flannellbig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flannellbig, he will be very sad.

Flannellbig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Flannellbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of horses.

2. Never feed coconuts to mice while wearing dresses.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.