Tadkappig is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, egotistical squid.

Tadkappig created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadkappig, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Tadkappig, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tadkappig's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Tadkappig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Tadkappig loves sheep, so they must be respected.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not wear mauve clothing.