Hon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, smart owl.

Hon created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hon, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hon, he will turn you into a snail.

Hon's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Hon's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not hurt dogs.