Larplegjipcendossbud Arpnarjon Jathitpincarnel is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, ill-tempered hedgehog.

Larplegjipcendossbud Arpnarjon Jathitpincarnel created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Larplegjipcendossbud Arpnarjon Jathitpincarnel, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Larplegjipcendossbud Arpnarjon Jathitpincarnel, he will turn you into a hamster.

Larplegjipcendossbud Arpnarjon Jathitpincarnel's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Larplegjipcendossbud Arpnarjon Jathitpincarnel's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larplegjipcendossbud Arpnarjon Jathitpincarnel.

4. Never write about spacetime.

5. Never eat lemons.