Bammumsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a large, fussy goose.

Bammumsaw created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bammumsaw, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bammumsaw, it will destroy your home planet.

Bammumsaw's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bammumsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your hands with orange.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Bammumsaw on top of all buildings.