Jatvensaw Cabbonyim is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, all-knowing mink.

Jatvensaw Cabbonyim created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatvensaw Cabbonyim, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jatvensaw Cabbonyim, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Jatvensaw Cabbonyim's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Jatvensaw Cabbonyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching lead.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in black.