Figcaplat is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, loving yak.

Figcaplat created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figcaplat, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Figcaplat, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Figcaplat's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Figcaplat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Hide from black gulls for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.