Vonksugfly is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, quiet gorilla.

Vonksugfly created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Vonksugfly, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Vonksugfly, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Vonksugfly's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Vonksugfly's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Never handle silver while unclean.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always take life seriously.