Pitbeprillmum is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, overgenerous wyrm.

Pitbeprillmum created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitbeprillmum, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pitbeprillmum, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Pitbeprillmum's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Pitbeprillmum's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry turtles.

2. Do not record numbers concerning planets.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Never remain bowed during midday.

5. Never tolerate songs in holy places.