Bafjapstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonest badger.

Bafjapstrag created a strange quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Bafjapstrag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bafjapstrag, she will jump up and down on your head.

Bafjapstrag's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Bafjapstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Never feed apples to gulls while wearing violet trousers.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.